Hectic

so whats going on recently? idk? LIKE A LOT! where to start? school. well,i think i got lazier at school,rn im staying up late at 1.08 in the morning writing this cause i just finished crying my eyes out maybe because of my friends,my "its complicated" relationship or just because of the movie i just watched because im not going to school tomorrow. :p im closer to my classmates,we bond better this year,i got super good tutor compared to last year's and my week is somehow fully booked with tuitions :( i like it but its just tiring.overall,its fine.was planning to take foundation in accountancy for next year BUT i dont have the money,and im not delusional enough like some people to think that i could get straight As,cause i cant.so,lets just play by ear.
Friends? hmm one of them moved to another school,made new friends and totally forgot about us,which is super heartbreaking,that i cry a lot during my shower daily :p and next,one of them joined a sports school team and started hanging out with them,maybe she thinks theyre "cool" well idk,i hate how much i care about all this shits,i just do..looking at old photos,i miss how happy and carefree we used to be,it didnt matter if we didnt have style,that we didnt look flawless,that we are a bit fat,that our skin is slightly tanned..now its all about it,kind of sick of it,but thats reality and i cant do anyhting about it.so here i am,having no friends to talk to or hug,just writing this stupid post on blogspot that nobody reads anyway.
"its complicated" relationship? well,first of all,he needs an anger management class,and im not even sure if it works even if he goes to trillions of classes if he doesnt want to change.he never understands,we fight a lot,like everyday,he doesnt admit that sometimes its his fault,doesnt feel sorry at all,very rude and i think lastly,idk why but suddenly like ive did something super wrong that his family hates me and treat me like i dont exist anymore. well,his sister is getting engaged or something this sunday,and somehow idk why,his mother didnt invite me and my mom,which is more hearbreaking than anything in the world,i dont think he knew about this  but it just hurts my feeling a lot since i ald went to his other sister's engagement thn again when she got married and thn again on her reception,this time,well i hear nothing,and he never brings up anything,idk whats going on with my life anymore,but i only know one thing............

Every move

Hey guys,so here you are again..reading the sad story of my life,my problems who have nothing to do with you guys..well today im just gonna tell about the problems from the past that still haunts me..hmm so apparently,he thinks i "control" him too much..we'll get back to that soon,now ill give you the reasons. Ok,so when he wakes up in the morning,and if he goes online in whatsapp but doesnt say anything to me,it just brings back to that time where he left me for that girl..or if hes online in whatsapp and not talking to me,i feel like hes talking to another girl,thats why he doest need to talk to me,and that brings back to the same moment..or when he sleeps late but doesnt spend time with me,it goes back to that night where we only started the relationship and he cheated on amd lied to me saying he wanted to go to bed but instead he was on skype,skyping with someone he used to like before me,who's apparently my friend. So no,i dont like him sleeping late at night,but not spending time with me,or even not skyping with me before he goes to bed. And about him telling you that its his twitter,he wants to follow whoever he wants,well that goes back to that day,i remembered he followed this bunch of girls,and i was just thinking "hey maybe he just wants to make new friends or something" but thn,that morning when i woke up,i saw him dm-ing with one of the girls..so yes,i freaked out amd cry after i woke up in the morning and that is why im scared he'll go flirting with those new followings of him..recess,if he doesnt go for recess with me,im scared he'll go recess with another girl and cheat on me again..that brings back to last year's incident,where we were in a happy relationship,atleast i think we did,but the school seperates the form 3's and form 4's recess time,so it was different,and he went recess with that new girl in school last year,throughout the year,ONCE A WEEK! Sooo,if you have a right mind,do feel me..and if youre a girl and you still think im insane thn ill say that you just never had a boyfriend or youre just that freaking heartless cause a guy broke your heart and youre lazy to care about anything in the world anymore or is it because you just hate me too much,everything i do,say is just wrong to you..now,about those nightmares ive been having for 4 times now..all of them are about fahmy and him cheating on me. First,we were in college,ofcourse the same,apparently we were still together (which is one weird thing) but thn there was this girl name Sabrina,i didnt know who or why she appeared in my dream but me and sayang had no idea who that was in real life,but in that dream,Sabrina was sayang's classmate and that sabrina was trying to "kikis harta" or something..and that sabrina was a witch or vampire,those kinds of creatures,so she used magic against sayang cause the weird thing is,sayang was so inlove with me,he liked no girl,even sabrina who was kind of hot,but after he got spelled,he was mean and all to me but the love was still there so sabrina was mad cause the spell didnt work that well so she tried to kill me in the college's carpark but thn sayang helped me,thn i woke up from my dream. Second,i dreamt that he dm-ed this girl who i used to be close to back in primary school but thn she moved to another school in secondary,so he was dm-ing this girl using baby and stuffs and i was there to read it,and i was still his girlfriend. Third,i dreamt about him flirting with another friend of mine whos a chinese,which is a weird thing..and that girl was like ahh hes so sweet and  bla bla bla...and she was taking infront of me,so i was like excuse me thats my boyfriend and she answered yea your boyfriend likes me. And the last one was about him cheating on me again with that new girl from last year,he was still with me but he didnt text or call or talk to me anymore so i chased him cause it was driving my crazy,and i asked did you stop loving me,and he smiled and said yes..oh did you hear that sound? Oh thats the sound of my heart breaking after hearing yes..so,ive dreamt more about those but everytime i wake up,ill just dont remember or try not to remember..basically,all of them are based on sayang's cheats towards me..so my life is like a living hell because every move he makes,makes me wonder about everything and doubt about everything..i just wish he could understand how i feel,but he never understands me..i dont want these problems to haunt me anymore,i wanna trust him,i want him to make me stop this insanity,i want him to finally understand what ive been trying to do,i want him to make me trust him..i just wanna hear the words "i wont cheat on you again,i wont stop loving you,i womt leave you anymore,i promise i wont!" But he never says it,when he does,he wont even be serious so i wont even take it seriously..i mean,this is not the first time we got back together,or even the second time,there was a new girl again this year in his class,i remember she came into the school on monday,thn on tuesday he told me he didnt want to have anything with me anymore,long story short,he broke up with me for that girl..but in a few weeks,we were good and everything was better,and thats where this relationship finally comes..its been 5 months,some weeks are wonderful,some weeks are just horrible,mostly depends on how his mood is and how much he needs me..well,next week is our 18th months and i really hope things would get better by then,cause i just need him back..probably hes trying to make me mad so i would break up with him or something,but seeiously im sorry for everything and i do admit i did control you,so i do understand you and im sorry but please i want you to understand me too,that im traumatised with what youve done to meand i just need your help to make this trauma to go by showing me how much you love me,how you wouldnt cheat or leave me again..i just need your help,im sorry for everything and please understand my situation right now :'(

That space in my heart

Hello there everybody :) haha,its 2 in the morning and this past few days have been,actually i couldnt put it into a word..its just,it feels like my heart has take over my body,my entire body..it hurts so bad that it has travel all over it..and yes,it feels horrible..Why did i chose that title? "That space in my heart"? yes,i have a freaking large amount of space in my heart that has to be filled with love..most of my friends moved,i barely spend time with them,and apparently,my boy left me again..sooooo? umm,i just feel like talking about the second one if you dont mind..If you wanna say anything or judge anything? suits you,do whatever you want..I have to admit,i do miss him,i miss him so freaking much..but most importantly,i miss having a special person to love me,to love me with all his heart,to be with me everyday,through my thick and thin,and share his life with mine..The fact that i dont have those stuffs anymore,and i miss it so much..Im those type of people who rather live with a partner than leaving alone,yes,i know im 16..but you know,its just high school,so chill? and why? haha,i barely have friends to talk to now,most of them are busy studying,with their other school homeworks and all,and my sister is moving soon,so i only have my mom,and i cant tell her about everything,so i need a friend..more than a friend infact. You know,when youre inlove,it feels like the whole world is a safe place,you know why? cause no matter what happens,you'll always have someone who loves you,and that is him..I used to feel that,every single day,life was great and there was nothing to worry about,cause i had someone to share everything with,my happy moments and the sad ones..but the weird thing is,i dont know why..but i still feel a bit of that,maybe its just paranoia i guess..but seriously,life is like so hard this year..im just staying strong alone..having him with me would always make me feel better,no matter what happens..so,i dont know what else to say but i bet those people who are reading this dumb post,forgive me for my stupidity,please do forgive me,and dont judge anything if you dont know the real story..so im sorry for whatever i did..Have a nice day :)

2012

HEYY!! So What's up? Umm so yea,ill be spending maybe few hours telling you how my 2012 was..so lets make it count? Its 6.30 PM. Im here with a big cup of grape juice ready to write my bittersweet 2012. I have to admit that 2012 wasnt a great year and i cant give you the reasons why..but 10-15 years from now,ill probably will be looking at my past years and i guess if there was a question "if you could go back time,and fix it there,which year it would be?" i would have to answer 2012 since i think i feel stupid this year. Amd why? Umm,2010 and 2011 was such a great year for me..VERY good one! well 2012 wasnt,i dont know whether it was the people around me or just me? So first,i fell inlove with this guy,the guy from my last post. We dated for more than a year,and it was a serious relationship,i was happy,and i guess he was happy too..then this one day,he told me he had another girl and i was like huh? like seriously?,so he asked me to check his facebook relationship status was supposed to be "in a relationship with Damia Rosli" but thn it turned out to be "in a relationship with someone not Damia Rosli" so,yes..if youre a human. You must know how that felt right? so out of a blue i got dumbed by a jackass. But this story has A LOT of twist and turn! I swear. Well,i thought he just flirted with tht girl during my PMR but guess what? He didnt just spend time with that girl during my busy month of PMR. He was hanging out with that girl throughout the year. so finally i found out,he was hanging out with that girl at recess time,and i dont mean the "hey,i wanna be your friend" kind of hang out. It was the "hey,im flirting with you" kind of hang out. He was treating her and walking with her to the canteen. While i was upstairs having the different time of recess than him. How sweet huh? :) and apparently,the girl was a new girl in school..so it was easy to trick. Me and him walk together back home like every single day and we pass by that girl every single day! But heres the fun part really,he told her that he was single but actually he was happily in a relationship with me. So yes,i fell inlove with a total jerk..so,after the break up,you know i just finished my PMR and idk,i was looking forward to spending time with him thn BOOM! there goes it..we still talked and stuff. but most of the times,he kept telling me how bad i was back when we were an item and he kept bragging about having that girl as his girlfriend. and worst,his friends was bashing me everywhere,idek why? they called me immature and stuffs,some unfollowed me,some did indirect tweets to me,apparently they heard the wrong side of the story and they were the ones being immature so yes! that is why i hate my seniors for next year. So thn,a month past,i was moving on,wasnt contacting him anymore,and he actually came back..so,the girl didnt had feelings for him,the girl was planning to leave him,he found out,so he was finding me again..so thn he got dumbed :) OH MY GOD THERES SO MANY SO IN THIS!! im laughing so hard! ok so,back to this! so,to you guys out there who never understood the term "Never leave the person you love for the person you like,because the person you like will leave you for the person they love" theres the story alright :) and the short story of it. He left me(the girl he was in a relationship for more than a year) for the girl she likes,thn the girl she likes left him for the guy he love..and apparently that girl is happily in a new relationship with the guy she loves :) and him? haha idek..he wants me back,i can give a second chance,but heres the problem. He never showed or work hard on getting my heart back,he just says he wants me back but he never works on it..but idk,ill just let god decides whats gonna happen next. So enough with the boy situation,now the next reason why 2012 stinks,you know this year i have this huge exam PMR. Umm,as an RK student,i WAS supposed to get  8As but i didnt,i was seriously devastated since i only got 5As which i think is very horrible..i worked pretty hard on it,but it wasnt enough i guess. All i think now is,maybe theres a reason behind getting 5As. Most of my friends are apparently leaving me next year :( Zu,Aireen,Nadia,Wani will be going to boarding school and we wont be in the same class anyway. Danial is moving to Aussie and Nas already left us,Diyana's leaving me soon just hoping she would change her mind and stay with me :/ Elina and Alyssa wont be in the same class with me..so Paan,his the only one not leaving me but i know he wont even hang with me since his too cool for me xD pfffttt..so yes,a lot of leaving..so,im not looking forward for 2013 and at the same time i really dont wanna stay in 2012,but the part where we're leaving this year is better than facing 2013 alone. Just to let them know,no one can never replace how awesome they were..and it was very nice spending this 3 years with you guys,apparently,you guys are going on your seperate ways but we promised to reunite at my cafe again remember? so yes,meet my friends.. Zu the future doctor,Aireen the future lecturer,Nadia the future lawyer,Wani (i guess she wanted to be a surgen??),Nas the future geologist aka patrick or the girl who plays with rocks and Diyana the future girl pilot :) and yea,wani and diyana wasnt in the same class with us this year which was really sad! So,i have to say the only happy moment in 2012 is just 2 over 5 of them but i dont regret going through with it and i wont fix a thing about it since everything happens for a reason. My new year resolution is just to stay low profile,lower than before..and just make a few friends since i cant see anymore leave. Focus on my studies,get good grades,maybe get a scholarship and get into culinary course and by the time im 35,ill be opening my cafe "om nom nom" haha i went too far xD where ill be spending time tonight? so nas invited me to skate with her new penny at putrajaya and fahmy asked me to meet him at curve but despite my siblings ignorance towards me,i have to pass..ill probably will be spending time watching good movies on tv or just lock myself in a room and just read a book..like i said,i wanna be low profile..and im still 15,im still in school,i dont wanna go party and stuffs,i just dont wanna dissapoint my mom anymore,ok maybe dissapoint her a bit,but not tht much like i used too..I know 2013 would be the same like the others,but you know,the earth spins in the same form for centuries,so what right?! and yes,in 2012 i made this wishlist on things im gonna get,and i got most of it which was a bad idea cause i think i spoilt myself..so for 2013,i wont be having any wishllist except for studying hard and just study..so 2013 and 2014 would probably just be study study study :) so,may you guys out there have a splendid new year's eve and have the best of luck :* and sorry for wasting your time reading about how my stupid 2012 was..but thanks for dropping by whoever you are :) and times up,its 725 PM..Happy New Year! :D

I'm glad I met you..:)

heyyy,

sooo sorry..havent been posting lately..since no one reads this blog..so,wasnt thinking about posting it..till i found out..this person promised me to "stop by" whenever he's free..and he still keeps that promise..thanks..:) so,i dont really know what to talk..but ill just talk k..:)

umm,i've met someone in my life already..and he pretty made me happy..:) actually,hes my first boyfriend..i think..:/ its been almost 3 months now..since we've been together..but suddenly,i feel like telling how it all started..umm,well..at first..oh well,i should just start.. it was 24th january,tuesday morning,10.10 (school recess time),it was raining ( i think), and the first kokurikulum for 2011..and i was walking to the canteen when i saw a guy..it was love at first sight..:) few weeks later,i asked my friend to find what that guy's name was..thn,few weeks later..she did..:) she was like "Mia,i found that guy's name.." "what is it?" "Ismail Fahmy" "WHAT??!! ISMAIL??!!" haha..i got a shock when i found out his name was ismail..but now,since im in love..it sounds pretty cute..:) so,in May..the school did this thing..form 3's had to sell kuih tempatan or something..so,he was there..and he actually came to me selling that kuih!! HAHA..shocker much..thn after i got back..i immediately added him on facebook..damn,i really liked him that time..:) thn,he didnt approved for quite a long time..till july/august..baru approve..me and my friends was like..YEAHH..FINALLY HE APROVED!! haha..but he didnt even online..and the day.. 3th august..his birthday..i forgot to wish..but i wished him it on saturday..it was 5th august..and we talked..and followed each other on twitter..and started talking in twitter 2 weeks later..we became closer..and he onlined even often just to talk to me..haha..after few months being close through the internet..he asked for my phone number and we contact each other more often..than on 15th september maybe..i asked my friend to be friends with him or something through BBM..so she did..and the first chat they were talking..he told her,he likes me..damn,i really got a shock..he's the first guy to ever like me..so,i kept quite..in september..we got really really closer!! morning text..24/7 text messages..midnight calls..goodnight text..ofcourse i was falling inlove..very deeply..thn on..11.11.11 we got together at 11.11..haha..we actually planned it..so,that night..we were officially together and not single anymore..so there it goes..the story of my love life..:) umm,there have been fights as usual..everyone got problems right..but 1 was so big!! cause of..i was waiting for him to skype but then i found out he was skyping with another girl and leaving me hanging on him..urghh..lets not talk about it..:/ she was my friend,and also he once had a crush on that girl..so,we didnt had any huge fights later on..and now,we have been thinking to long this relationship and see how far it goes..we were thinking about marrying..after college and after working..maybe when i was 25 and he's 26..err,but for now..just got to finish my PMR and him rocking his SPM next year..:) and now,i really change a lot..i pray 5 complete times a day..just because i want to doa for our future and all..but the bad part is..my mother and his mothe found out about us..and it got pretty ugly..my mother took my phone and my ipad..and she read all the messages..thank god she didnt saw the pictures of us and she didnt found out that he had been coming to my house..but reading the text message was pretty ugly! and his mother found out that he had been coming to my house and skyping everyday..so,our mother dont really like it..:/ but our fathers and siblings were pretty ok..:D so,thats good news right? :) so..umm..i think thats all..cause i think i wrote pretty long...and i hope some people read this..cause..its hard to write a long essay about your love life right? so,thats all..and enjoy..hope you enjoy it..and pray for us..let us be together forever and hopefully our mothers will approve this relationship..AMIN..:)

bye..:) (will post photos later on)

Raya open houses..

HAHA..sorry for the late post..ive been busy..and my friends just uploaded the photot..yeap,THEY'RE LATE..-.- but its okay..they still got it..:) n yeah..1 month of Raya...4 weeks,1 week in Penang..n 3 weeks in BRP..:) so yea.. 1st week..NONE,as always..-.- well,actually this bitch did..but she didnt invite me..she only invited boys..hmm,how bitchy..:) thank you for not inviting..but fortunately,EVERYONE DIDNT SHOW UP..well except for like 3 people..MUAHAHAHA!! in your face loser! :D n yeah.. the 2nd week..i sent my cousin back to Bahrain..oh yeah..my cousin havent upload the photo yet..i'll upload it when she uploads it k..:) n after that..i went to Aireen's house..it was fun..it was only Aireen,Wani,Zu and Me...SOO FUN!! :) love it so much..:) and the next week..I went to Iyliah's house..:) it was fun..n there were photos..:) n we even made a video..:) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSPu21rECl8 yeap,thats our own page..:) missskater101..than..the next week after that..was my birthday..n i decided to make a birthday party..BARBEQUE..:) n yess..but unfortunately,my birthday was on the last week of Raya..n you know what that means..A LOT OF OPEN HOUSES.. so yea,i didnt even go to one..:( n unfortubately,wani's open house was the same day as mine..so i didnt go to her's n she didnt came to mine..:( ok,that's all..n im so sorry for the late post..:( and i hope you enjoy the pictures and the post..and especially my blog..but i think no one reads it..i know,ITS SAD!





this is at Iyliah's house..:)

and this is at Aireen's house.:)

and this is my birthday party..:)
THE END

If my dad was still here with me..:)

GOOD THINGS,

1.Would be so damn rich..:)

2.would get everything i want right now

3.would already have a driver

4.would be the richest kid among all my friends.

5.would have a car by now

6.would have a bigger house by now..

7.would be a princess by now

8.would travel around the world

9.go shopping everyday

10.go to a private school

11.would be smart like hell

12.would have a bigger closet

13.would have so much more cloths than now

14.would have a very pretty hair..already have..haha

15.would have a bakery by my own by now

16.would have a boyfriend by now..XD jk

17.would have everything people dont have

18.would eat more stuff in this world

19.would go into any college i want

20.would meet taylor lautner

21.would go to the best place ever

22.would eat at the best restaurants

23.be a popular model

24.only shop at the best stores

25.be the best chef by now

26.would have the best time of my life..:)

BAD THINGS,

1.would be a spoilt brat

2.would be a horrible princess

3.wouldn't know how to do a single thing cause only depends on the maid

4.would have horrible friends

5.wouldn't wear tudung by now

6.would be definitely sexy

7.would spend all my dad's money on something i dont need

8.would you know what tenageers do now..;)

9.wouldn't have to marry a rich kid to be rich

10.wouldn't go back penang anymore..

11.wouldn;t be close with my cousins

12.spend everyday with shopping

13.be a bitch

14.wouldn't have true friends

15.i think i would be fat or not..maybe not..;)

16.eat at the best restaurant dont care if its halal

17.wouldn't know how to cook now

18.wouldn't be friends with this awesome friends i have..

19.my family wont be closer..or will we??

20.we would all go to hell!

IT WOULD BE HORRIBLE..SO THATS IT..